Below The Fold

Friday, March 16, 2007
11:00 am – Take the day off from work. Have the best massage ever, courtesy of the healing hands of Vivian Masters. Go see her and tell her I sent you. You can thank me later. Seriously.

4:45 pm – See 300 at the Colorado Center theater. Sick. Some of the most beautiful violence I’ve ever seen on film. We see it on the IMAX screen. Reminiscent of both The Cell and Sin City in its cinematic sublimity. Also see the trailer for Grindhouse. Can’t. Fucking. Wait.

6:45 pm– Dinner at Blue Moon Asian Grill Good collection of $1 sushi choices for happy hour. Lousy service. Mediocre Vietnamese rice noodle bowl. Trish finally relates the story of the Great Thanksgiving Family melee, which is pretty awesome. Ask her to tell it to you sometime.

Saturday, March 17, 2007
6:00 pm –Meet up with friends at the 404. Partake in their $4.04 corned beef and cabbage special on their new patio.

7:12 pm –A large black SUV stops at the stop sign on 4th at Broadway, facing directly west into the setting sun As the SUV slowly turns south onto Broadway, the vehicle collides with two girls crossing Broadway on their bicycles. One girl takes the brunt of the impact and gashes her hand on broken glass in the street as she falls. I rush over to assist as emergency services are called. I wrap her hand in a towel and apply direct pressure to stop the bleeding. She’s in a little shock, but otherwise unharmed. I chat with her to calm her down and the paramedics show up a few minutes later. I give a statement to the cops. The guy driving the SUV feels absolutely horrible. He wasn’t drunk. The EMTs treat the girl and release her and they walk their bikes a few blocks home.

8:30 pm – Random drunk woman sits down at our table and regales us with stories about her forced therapy sessions thanks to a DUI she got seven years ago. “We all had to stand up and say what we did to get forced to take the class. This one guy stood up and said, ‘Well, I went to Vegas with some buddies. We got a hooker. She got really coked up and died. Then we all fucked her.’ Then the guy says, ‘I got real drunk and angry one night and cut down all my neighbors trees with a chainsaw.’ I mean, Christ, all I did was get a DUI!”

8:56 pm– More friends show up to the 404. One friend of a friend comes up behind me and licks the top of my head. I take issue with this and explain nicely why this is unacceptable behavior. He smiles and apologizes. I allow him to keep his lungs.

10: 00 pm –Head over to 3 Kings Tavern to catch 18 Wheeler. Decent rockabilly-meets-metal band. Amy and I take to the dance floor and blow the joint’s socks off. People apparently aren’t used to seeing a guy my size cut a rug. It makes Amy’s night.

10:45 pm –The guy who licked my head earlier decides to come over to where I am sitting and start rubbing my head. I’ve had enough at this point. I twist his arm behind his back with one hand and grab him by the back of the neck with the other and bend him over backwards. I then again explain that I respect his boundaries; it’s time for him to start respecting mine. He again apologizes. I let him go. He then gets angry and starts to yell at me. As he inches forward, I prepare to grab him by the throat. Our mutual friend appears and carts him quickly away. Moments later, Bagpipers show up and start playing.

Sunday, March 18, 2007
12:33 pm– We’ve had our fill for the evening and arrive home. Amy retires and I watch some Scrubs re-runs in the living room. I doze off.

3:13 am –I’m awakened to the sound of gunfire coming from what I think is directly in front of my house. I roll off the couch onto the floor and yell for Amy. The shots happen in rapid succession as though fired from a semi-automatic; I count 9. I crawl into my office and grab my .22 rifle and a couple shells that are like, 10 years old. I hear no more sounds; no tires squealing, no yelling, nothing. I stand up and check on Amy, who slept through the gunfire. I hustle back to the front of the house and peek out the window. The street is empty. I call the cops. They show up in no time flat and surround a house two doors down from mine and across the street. It THAT house. The one with the most immacualte yard on the block. The guy who lives there is in his 70s, a German immigrant who’s been living there since the house was built in 1964. His ’81 mustang has a couple bullet holes in it, as does his fence out front. Someone emptied a clip into his car and house for no apparent reason. The cops take my second statement to police of the evening. I retire home and get into bed, keeping the rifle handy.

12:00 pm– Lunch at Lao Wang Noodle House. Awesome. Sean, one of Amy’s and my closest friends, brings us there. Apparently, Sean’s been coming here every Friday night for years. The place gets so busy, he and his friends Dave and Monica help wait tables, bus and do dishes, just ‘cause. It’s owned by an ancient Asian couple. They yell, “Sean!” when he comes in and are so happy to see him that I’m actually moved by the display. Sean’s basically an orphan now, and seeing him so loved sends my spirit soaring. And the food is some of the best ever. Go there.

2:00 pm –Take Amy for her appointment with Ephraim, the man with the golden touch. He’s the male counterpart of Vivian (see above), and also an old friend from my Ctyearch days. I hang out at Common Grounds for an hour, enjoying an iced Chai and their wi-fi while Amy’s in her session. It’s one of the most relaxing Sundays I’ve had in a long time.
Which is probably a very good thing.